Rewiring Your Relationship with Money
Your struggles with money might not be about willpower or financial literacy. They might be rooted in trauma.
Does this sound familiar?
You find yourself stuck in patterns with money that don't make sense. Perhaps you earn a good salary but live paycheck to paycheck, unable to save despite your best intentions. Or maybe you hoard money obsessively, unable to spend even on things you need because the fear of scarcity is so deeply embedded. You might find yourself unable to ask for raises or charge what you're worth, or conversely, you overspend to prove to yourself and others that you're "not poor anymore."
Maybe you experience physical symptoms when dealing with money—your chest tightens, your stomach churns, you feel lightheaded or dissociated. Financial conversations with your partner trigger intense defensiveness or withdrawal. You might lie about purchases or hide spending, recreating patterns of secrecy from your childhood. Or perhaps you've noticed you can't hold onto money—whenever you get ahead financially, something happens and it slips through your fingers.
You know intellectually what you "should" do. You've read the books, tried the budgets, downloaded the apps. But you can't seem to follow through. You might feel paralyzed when it comes to making financial decisions—even small ones. Or you swing between extremes: periods of obsessive tracking and restriction followed by complete abandonment of any financial awareness.
The shame can be crushing. You look around and everyone else seems to have it together. You feel like the only one who can't get a handle on this basic adult skill. You've tried to change, promised yourself "this time will be different," but you keep repeating the same patterns.
If this resonates, I want you to know something important: This isn't a character flaw. It's a trauma response.
Understanding Financial Trauma
When we grow up in environments where money was a source of fear, scarcity, control, or unpredictability, our nervous systems learn to associate finances with danger. Maybe your family struggled with poverty, and you absorbed a deep belief that there will never be enough. Perhaps money was used as a tool of control or manipulation. Or maybe financial matters were never discussed openly, leaving you feeling anxious and incompetent.
These early experiences shape our relationship with money in profound ways:
Overspending or impulse buying can be a way to self-soothe when we're feeling overwhelmed
Avoidance and procrastination around bills and finances is often a freeze response—our nervous system shutting down to protect us from overwhelm
Chronic scarcity mindset can persist even when we're financially stable, because our bodies remember what it felt like to not have enough
Difficulty receiving or keeping money can stem from deep-seated beliefs that we're not worthy or deserving
Hypervigilance about finances might have helped us stay safe as children, but now keeps us in a constant state of anxiety
These aren't failures of discipline or financial literacy. They're survival strategies that helped us cope then, but are limiting us now.
Types of Financial Trauma
Financial trauma doesn't look the same for everyone. It can come from many different sources, and understanding where your patterns originated is an important part of healing.
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Growing up without enough creates deep imprints. You may have watched your parents' stress and fear around money, absorbed messages that there would never be enough, or experienced the actual deprivation of not having basic needs met. As an adult, you might hoard resources, struggle to spend money on yourself even when you can afford it, or conversely, overspend in an attempt to prove you're not poor anymore. The body remembers what scarcity felt like, and that nervous system activation can persist long after your circumstances have changed.
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When money is used as a tool of control—to manipulate, punish, or maintain power—it creates complex wounds. Perhaps a parent withheld money as punishment, or used it to control your choices. Maybe you were made to feel guilty for every expense, or had to account for every penny. As an adult, you might find yourself either recreating these patterns (controlling your partner's spending, or allowing yourself to be controlled) or swinging to the opposite extreme, unable to track spending because it feels oppressive.
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In some families, money isn't discussed at all. It's treated as shameful, mysterious, or too stressful to talk about openly. Children in these environments grow up without financial literacy, but more importantly, without a healthy model for engaging with money. As an adult, you might feel deep shame about your financial situation, hide purchases or debt from your partner, or feel intense anxiety when faced with financial decisions because you never learned it was okay to ask questions or make mistakes.
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Experiencing sudden financial loss—whether through job loss, economic crisis, foreclosure, bankruptcy, or a parent's financial disaster—can create lasting trauma. The unpredictability and loss of control can make it hard to ever feel financially secure again, even when you're objectively stable. You might find yourself in constant worry mode, unable to trust that stability will last, or conversely, in denial about financial reality because facing it feels too overwhelming.
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Financial trauma can also occur in wealthy families. Perhaps money was used as a substitute for emotional connection, or came with strings attached. You might have absorbed messages that you're only valued for what you can provide financially, or struggle with guilt about your privilege. Some people from wealthy backgrounds find themselves unable to manage money once they're independent, or sabotage their own financial success because of complicated feelings about wealth.
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Sometimes we inherit money trauma from generations we never met. The Great Depression, immigration experiences, wars, or systemic oppression create survival patterns that get passed down through families. You might carry beliefs and behaviors around money that don't match your own experience but feel deeply ingrained—because they are. Understanding these intergenerational patterns is crucial for breaking cycles and creating something new.
Breaking Generational Cycles
Many of my clients are what social media calls "cycle breakers"—people working to create a different financial life than the one they grew up with. You're trying to build something new, but you keep bumping up against invisible barriers. The messages you internalized about money, worthiness, and security run deep.
Breaking these cycles takes more than budgeting apps or financial advice. It requires healing the emotional wounds that drive your financial patterns. It means understanding how your past shaped your present, and creating new neural pathways for safety and security around money.
You might be the first person in your family to earn a stable income, own a home, or build savings. Or maybe you're trying to develop a healthier relationship with inherited wealth. Either way, being a cycle breaker means you're navigating territory your family never modeled for you. That's courageous work—and it's also lonely and confusing work. Therapy provides a space to process what you're experiencing and develop new patterns that feel authentic to you.
How Therapy Can Help
As a Trauma of Money™ certified practitioner, I specialize in helping adults heal their relationship with money through trauma-informed and psychodynamic approaches. In our work together, we'll:
Understand your money story
We'll explore how your early experiences with money shaped the patterns you're living with now. This isn't about blame—it's about understanding so you can create change.
Develop practical skills alongside insight
You'll gain both understanding of WHY you do what you do and concrete tools for creating change. Both are essential.
Work with your nervous system
Using somatic and body-centered approaches, we'll help your nervous system learn that it's safe to engage with money. You'll develop tools to regulate anxiety, move through avoidance, and create new patterns of response.
Heal shame and build self-compassion:
So much of our struggle with money is wrapped in shame. We'll work to untangle those feelings and develop a more compassionate relationship with yourself.
Address the root causes, not just symptoms
While budgets and financial plans have their place, therapy addresses the emotional and psychological barriers that keep you from being able to implement them.
What This Therapy Is (and Isn't)
I provide trauma-informed psychotherapy focused on healing the emotional and psychological roots of your financial patterns. I help you understand and transform your relationship with money from the inside out—addressing the trauma, shame, fear, and limiting beliefs that drive your financial behaviors.
This work happens in the therapy room, using the same evidence-based approaches I bring to all trauma work: psychodynamic therapy to understand how your past shaped your present, and somatic/body-centered work to help your nervous system feel safe engaging with money.
This is Not Financial Planning, Financial Therapy, or Money Coaching
I don't provide:
Budgeting guidance or help creating spending plans
Investment advice or portfolio recommendations
Tax planning or strategies
Debt payoff plans or credit repair advice
Specific recommendations about what to do with your money
Financial education about how money works
Financial planners and advisors handle the practical, strategic side: investments, retirement planning, tax optimization, estate planning, and wealth building strategies.
Financial therapists and money coaches often work at the intersection of emotions and practical money management—they might help you create a budget while also addressing your feelings about it, or coach you through implementing financial strategies while working with emotional blocks.
I work solely on the trauma healing side. I help you process and heal the emotional wounds, rewire trauma responses, address shame and fear, and build the internal capacity to engage with money from a grounded place. Think of me as doing the deep emotional and psychological work that creates the foundation for everything else.
How This Complements Other Financial Support
Many of my clients work with financial planners, accountants, or financial therapists—and that's ideal. Once you've addressed the trauma underlying your money patterns, you're finally able to work productively with those professionals because the anxiety, avoidance, and shame are no longer running the show.
If you're already working with a financial professional and finding yourself unable to implement their good advice, therapy can help you understand and address what's getting in the way. If you're not currently working with anyone, therapy can help you build the emotional capacity to eventually seek out and engage with the financial guidance you need.
Is This Right for You?
This work is especially helpful if you:
Are a cycle breaker working to create a different financial life than the one you grew up with
Know what you "should" do with money but can't seem to follow through
Experience anxiety, shame, or fear when thinking about finances
Find yourself repeating the same destructive financial patterns despite your best intentions
Grew up with financial instability, poverty, or money being used as control
Experience physical symptoms (panic, dissociation, avoidance) around money
Hide financial information from your partner or feel intense shame about your financial situation
Sabotage your own financial success or can't hold onto money
Feel like your money struggles don't make logical sense
Are tired of feeling stuck and ready to address the root causes
My Approach
I draw on the same integrative, trauma-informed approach I bring to all my work:
Psychodynamic therapy helps us understand how your early relationships and experiences shaped your current patterns with money. We'll explore the messages you internalized about worthiness, security, and what you deserve.
Trauma-informed, body-centered practice recognizes that trauma lives in the nervous system. Using principles from Somatic Experiencing and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, we'll work to help your body feel safe engaging with money.
Practical tools alongside insight: You'll leave sessions with both deeper self-understanding and concrete strategies for working with difficult emotions, moving through avoidance, and creating new patterns.
This isn't about forcing yourself to follow a budget through willpower. It's about understanding why your nervous system responds the way it does to money, healing the wounds that created those responses, and building new capacity to engage with finances from a place of safety rather than fear.
Ready to Heal Your Relationship with Money?
If you're tired of repeating the same financial patterns and ready to address what's really driving them, I'd love to talk. This work takes courage—acknowledging that our struggles with money are rooted in trauma can feel vulnerable. But on the other side of that vulnerability is freedom: the ability to make financial decisions from a grounded, empowered place rather than from fear, shame, or old survival patterns.
Click the button below to schedule a free 15-minute consultation. We'll talk about what changes you're seeking and, if it feels like a good fit, we'll schedule your first session. If you want to pursue healing in other areas, I also offer anxiety therapy, therapy for codependency, and trauma therapy and PTSD treatment. Life can be so much brighter when you ask for the help you need.